The day I almost starved.

My sure-fired equilibrium being off kilter due to lack of fuel was just the first of it! Water on the right, mix of protein & carbs on the left. I could see it. But somehow a stone wall of laundry baskets were glue gunned to the floor. Had the Mrs. finally lost all her faculties ? I was beginning to construct the evidence. My hypothesis was a "Hell Yeah!". Holy dirty underwear, who does laundry, folds it and then glue guns the tubs to the imported Italian Giovanni Carsponi granite. Dad will probably jump off the roof head first onto the frozen twisted Canadian asphalt. You wince? You cry,
"Brodan you're raving mad!"
As the first signs of sun light peaked through the window, I assure you, I tell the tormented twisted truth! You ask, "Brodan, you are the most powerful muscular canine in the Western Hemisphere, why not just nudge the laundry baskets out of the way?" THEY WERE GLUE-GUNNED TO THE FLOOR, you fools! This wasn't scotch two way tape you dam malignant door stops! I should have seen this coming. The Mrs. how she would sit and watch her soap-operas clutching that glue gun. Not always loaded and not always plugged in. Glue Gun parties were held. Seventeen of them in a perfect circle glue gunning Styrofoam and over-size envelopes. Together! For no apparent reason. She was looney tunes!
How I was still vertical on all fours was a feat of pure persistence. I spoke to myself, "Brodan you must stay strong. Focus. Concentrate. Food. Food. Food. My last intake was a barbeque hot dog nearly ten hours ago.  Before that two treats, a cookie, a slice of old cheese. I don't eat the mild stuff, gives me gas.
Then by a miracle the boy child came down the stairs and with his Popeye forearms cracked the seal. I WAS SAVED!